Tirupati

Your God might be where you try to find, my god is where I want HIM.

“It’s a life time opportunity. Let’s not think and just go.” Said Manoj

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me in the office?” I shouted at Niemish in usual manner.

“Because I didn’t know about his plan”. Replied Niemish, in his ever composed tone.

“Can’t wait. It’s too crowdy on weekends.” Manoj declared.

It was 6: 30 and we were just back from the office. Manoj was ready with his half baked plan of going to “Tirupati” that night only. After arguing a little bit with each other, we finally agreed (had to) to embark on that night itself. Manoj, somehow, managed to get last three seats of the last Volvo bus for that night. I didn’t have a single penny in my pocket and didn’t know how I was going to manage all the expenditure. (But then Niemish, my friend, was always there.)

We started “Chadhai” (a prowl towards god’s place, supposed to be a walk) at 8:36 in the morning. One of our friends had told (challenged) that it took just two hours for him to walk through the whole way of about nine k.ms. So, we estimated that it's not going to take more than 3 Hours for us to reach.

Within first 2 k.ms, we had taken around 10 breaks and it took us 1.5 hour to walk those two unassailable k. ms.

“Why did god choose to sit so high in mountains?” I threw my question in air.

“God must not be having enough cash to buy a flat in B.T.M., I guess. You see the real estate prices.” Manoj said nonchalantly (tying his hanky on forehead)

“It’s a test of devotion. The hardship that you face for “darshana” shows how dedicated you are to God.” Niemish said with his rabbit like voice.

“Hardship!!!! Is it like exams???” I was exclaimed.

“Yaa”. Niemish said while looking at a decent girl surreptitiously.

“Then why are all of us not on the same level. I mean some people can go by their cars, some by bus, we are walking and some go prostrate. You can’t differentiate between their devotion on the basis of the mode of travel.”

“May be we can’t. But God can. Like in exams some work hard (prostrate), some ask each other (bus), some copy (car) and some clever foxes bring books along in exams (celebrities).”

“Hmmm! That seems logical. F*****, some time you speak sense.”

“You can get a good CGPA by copying. But how will you justify it to your conscience?”

“But the conscience never stands apart you and if it does then you can easily substantiate its non-existence.”

“What the f*** you guys are yelling about? Let’s have some mango slices.” Manoj said hiding his desire to have another break.

“Ya……they look awesome.” Niemish sighed while lying down on the footpath.

We bought 9 slices for Rs 18.

After restarting the journey we decided not to talk to each other and took the next break just arguing that who was talking most.

“Hey! You are supposed to go bare feet.” A woman/pilgrim cautioned us.

“Ignore her! I don’t see any probability of God catching us with foot wears. He must be very busy, entertaining thousands of pilgrims for “darshana”. These days A/C is there in temple. What fun God might find in roaming around in jungle in this scorching heat.” Manoj, of course the smartest chap, advised us.

“These mango slices are so fascinating. I just can’t resist anymore.” Niemish mewed.

“We had them just five minutes ago!!” Manoj almost scolded him.

“Don’t you dare! No social animal should ever be resisted from placating its hunger, No matter its 1st degree, 2nd degree or 3rd Degree, condition applied.”

“Ask her to put more masala.” Manoj said looking at a deer that was grazing while peeing also. “Multi-tasking, man! Shortest and fastest food chain.”

This time it was 9 slices for Rs 9 only.

On the next break, we bought a complete mango for Rs. 5.

“I guess, when we reach the temple, mangoes will be free.” Niemish wondered innocently.

The only thing I waited was the time when a religious wave would hit my heart and it will become pious and pure, at least till “Darshana” as usually happens with me whenever I go to religious places. But it seemed to be protracted. My eyes were constantly looking for beautiful faces. Good figure supported by the right kind of attire was always a welcome.

We kept on hauling ourselves. It seemed a never ending journey. Walking, talking, enjoying, sleeping but constantly keeping our keen eyes open making sure not to miss any opportunity to solicit a gentle comment for the beauty of any passing by girl, we finally reached at the special land where God had decided (though not sure) to dwell upon. I was still waiting for that religious whiff to come and blow my mind away to allow my heart to think independently, (heart never thinks, I guess).

The first thing that I noticed was that there were more than usual number of Taklus (bald) roaming around with an eternal glow on their face (Was it face?) as if their sins had committed suicide with their each harvested hair. Then, it was nothing but surprise for me; there were "Taklis" (bald females) also who were seemingly proud of the fact that they had an arena where they could be at par with their counter parts.

“Guys, we need to put off our footwear.” Manoj directed towards a free cloak room. By its dilapidated condition it was nothing but very obvious that it was being maintained by government. We had to deposit our cell phones also because there could be a bomb plugged in it and we could be terrorists also!!!

(And of course, the lax security system had all the reason to relax once your cell phones were detached from you. Did somebody say that there are many more ways to hide bombs apart from mobile phones? Its all fine with me. But Niemish, I could listen to your oriental heartbeats.)

“By what time are we supposed to see God?” Manoj enquired.

“Do we have an appointment with God?” I wondered.

“Of course, you dumb! God is a big celebrity. Do you think he will let you see him without an appointment?”

“Its 3’o clock. But its reporting time and not the “Darshana” time.” Niemish sighed as a robbed kid.

“Ok! So these guys will open the gate at 3. I can’t sit and do nothing. Let me fetch a newspaper. Niemish, are you coming with me?” I asked.

“It’s a bad idea, yaar! You will get no time to read it. Let’s sit down and….” Niemish chuckled secretively.

“And what?”

“Check out the chicks, if we find anyone, what else!” he was feeling embarrassed on my failure to decipher his smiling dispositions.

“One can find oasis in desert and not ocean, my dear!”

“Ok go and get your ocean.”

Gate opened and people started chanting with all excitement. I was impressed. I later noticed that they were only a few women shouting at each other to get their way through. With all due care to shame, some of them had exchanged punches backed by pungent and heavy abusive words. Queue was moving slowly but some women who wanted to see God earlier were pushing us behind as if it were the last day when the idol of the god was lying there.

I just thought how many times these women would visit “Tirupati” in their life. I don’t know, but if God is supposed to live in that special temple, then every moment you are there, is special. So if you are trying to see that idol earlier than others, then aren’t you shortening the time you are going to spend with that almighty?

Leave it. But I can bet if God could be symbolized with a cake and not by an idol, I must have taught those freaking ladies one or two lessons of “The Art of War.”

Nearer I was coming to the temple, everything seemed more and more irrational. Should not say, but I was thinking more about the ladoos than the idol of the god. Maybe this life has made us so inflexible to think beyond the logic and rationality. Maybe we are so bounded by the materialistic world that our mind is unwilling/ unable to believe in immaterial, rather celestial objects which cannot be supported by scientific evidences.

The only question pestering my mind was who had declared that god was living in that particular temple………? (Logical but still foolish idiosyncrasy of an illusive business student.)

And imagine what……….I got the answer. Not the perfect but the one which can dare to stand by the acrid subjectivity of question, with careful wisdom and unwavered confidence.

Why do we go school for education? Obviously as it is supposed to be the recognized, formal and unquestionably absolute place for learning, by its purpose. It really doesn’t matter how its acts turn out to be, as long as its actions truly and unconditionally intend to abide by its purpose. Most of the people get (or they think they get) educated in the school but not all. (Generalization). So, those vagabonds who dare to measure the unexplored direction searching for so called true learning should have no right, by any virtue, to project school as a MYOPIC PLATFORM for true learning.

Finding:
Purpose can never lead you to superstition. It’s only the magnitude of the stupidity of your action (concentrating on “WHAT” rather than “WHY”) which makes it look like superstition,

After waiting for only two and a half hour, we were there in the main temple where the God was supposed to live. And finally I was there where I could see that idol of God. It was almost a stampede. For first 10 second I just looked at the idol to find what uncanny gravity it had that attracted so many people from different corner of world. Suddenly I felt a weight on my shoulders. And there was a man shouting “Govinda- Govinda” almost knocking his way through my delicate and unwary head. I just caught hold of banisters of aisles to let the man have a rapacious sprint towards idol. I was being hauled by queue and literally walking blank like a man in “coma”. It was only when I came out, I realized that “Durshana” was over and I had forgotten to request God to take some extra pain of converting my dreams into reality.

People were now rushing away breaking all queues as if they had seen a man-eating ghost a little ago. Later I realized that all that hurry was to get “ladoos” as fast as possible.

“Give me your coupons, I’ll get ladoos.” Manoj, almost grabbing our coupons, advised with all his dominance.
“Ya, till then we get cell phones.” Niemish, whose heart was beating somewhere else, murmured.
“And of course, foot wears.” I, rather my soles cried. Manoj dived again in crowd.

“Please!” I gave coupon to receptionist of cloak room and pointed towards our foot wears.
“Here you are.”
“Thank you.” Saying, we turned.
“Sir, change!” he said as if he were annoyed of repeating it time and again.

“For what?” I exclaimed.

“Foot wears!” He was more than exclaimed. “As per your devotion.” With a shrewd and shameless smile on his face.
“Devotion?”

“Ya, whatever. For our services.”

I offered one and a half rupee in his dignity and of course, as per my devotion.

Next were our cell phones.

I showed the coupon at counter and they brought our cell phones.

“Fees as per your devotion and sign here.” The robust man sitting on the counter pointed towards delivery signatures on the coupons.

“I am afraid sir; I have utilized all my devotion to get our foot wears at the last cloakroom.”

“Hmm! You can’t take away these cell phones for your signature doesn’t match with the depositor’s.” crooked keeper grunted, showing me Manoj’s signature

“Ok, got it! Please wait till I arrange for devotion.”

Seeing me empty handed, Niemish got scared.

“I’m running short of devotion. If you have any, go and get them.”

“Let me see.” Niemish probed his wallet suspiciously. It was only with the joint devotion of all of us that we got our cell phones emancipated.

Finally, we bade adieu to God and checked out the temple.

“Was nice and I’m feeling better now.” Niemish, clutching his cell phone, chuckled

“Ya, relieved!” I said looking at the people who had just arrived.

“Now what?” Manoj asked.

“First we go to room, take rest, see nice girls on M T.V., have dinner and then catch bus.” Niemish (almost napping) murmured.

“Great! By morning we will be back to hostel.”

So this was all about our Tirupati visit.

Let’s talk business:
Every day, on an average, 60000 pilgrims visit Tirupati. And by common sense, we can imagine that hardly anybody come without foot wears. Considering the religious values attached, if I assume a devotion of one rupee per pilgrim and take into account even the competition of existing cloakrooms along with other factors, market size was not less than Rs 10000 per day. Cost is nothing as cloakroom’s infrastructure is supported by government. I am thinking about submitting a proposal to government for opening another cloakroom.

To differentiate, I want to have a beautiful girl as receptionist. We can share 50-50. Not a bad offer!!!……what do you think? Wanna join the cloakroom????